I have travelled fairly widely and have a dubious distinction of having vomited in around 10 countries, thanks to dodgy food.

I thought I had a handle on the usual warnings about food safety and have often ignored what I saw as overly cautious advice, in order to experience the local scene.

NOTE : DO NOT READ PAST THIS LINE IF YOU HAVE A HANG-OVER, ARE PREGNANT OR SUFFER FROM LOW BLOOD PRESSURE.

I was severely ill after a crook fish in Turkey, severely ill after crook fish in Indonesia and severely ill after crook cui (ie guinea pig) in Peru. Don’t know what did it in Egypt. I think China escaped my regurgitative excesses.

I noted that local advice here seemed stronger than expected on the subject of restaurant selection. Not that I ignored the advice, but I think I have discovered why.

On Saturday night, I went to the UN Barracks XMas party where there were 4 local restaurants supplying the food. I made my choice with numerous others. The result was that I had mild diarrhoea for the next 2 days.

Perhaps I treated this affliction too lightly, as I opted to eat a fancy fish dinner last night. About 3 hours later, the stomach pains started. I retired to the bathroom where violent diarrhoea ensued. Then the vomiting, then it seems I passed out and was found 10 minutes later, lying on the floor in the bathroom in a pool of vomit and diarrhoea with blood dripping from my head.

Maybe I passed out and hit my head on the hard tiled floor. I don’t really know. But for the next 2 hours, I lay in the bath while nature took its course, until there was not an ounce of anything left in my body. It was not pretty. I could hardly scratch myself. For the cynics amongst you: NO, beer was not involved.