This is to my friend J-Lo (the name I shall refer to her even though she is not a film star and lives in Dili).

J-Lo is a treasure.  I met her in 2005 and one day I even ended up working in her work-sphere.  We traded friendly insults for ages and I even cooked for her.  And one day she announces she has found THE man.  It was’nt me.  As a sop, she even conceded that in another life I might have been that bloke but we both know that Dr Who and the Planet Zog are not real.

Thanks sis, I will be biting at your heels forever.  And “shut-up Barry”.